How to Avoid Baby Mama or Baby Daddy Drama with Your Ex

December 23rd, 2011

Breaking up with someone and staying civil is hard enough when it's just between the two of you, but when a child is involved, it can be a bit dicey. Having spent the last 13 years as a parent working with an ex to raise a child, these steps have made it easier to focus on what matters most- our child.

Difficulty:
Moderately Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need

  • An ex
  • A child
  • Patience
    • 1

      Get rid of that label. Stop referring to your child's parent as your "baby mama" or "baby daddy". View them as the other party involved in the creation of your little one. If the child is over the age of two, that term is definitely inappropriate.

    • 2

      Communicate with your ex. Do not use your child as a walkie-talkie. Using your child as a go between can lead to disaster. Children often play sides when it comes to wanting things from their parents. Miscommunication can develop if a message is misconstrued whether intentionally or unintentionally. It's best if you two do the talking directly.

    • 3

      Keep it simple and straight forward. Express what your needs or concerns for your child are while being specific and concise. Over doing things and indulging in longer than necessary conversations leave you open to disagreements and ill-feelings. These are not beneficial to the child and hamper the possibility of an amicable relationship with your ex.

    • 4

      Don't lead your ex on. Speak only of the child. If your own personal matters must be discussed, it should be done solely due to scheduling concerns related to the child. As long as you are not doing anything that could cause harm to your child, your personal life is your own and your ex should no longer be a part of it. That is why he or she is called your ex.

    • 5

      Don't be the meanie. Do not bash the other parent in the presence of your child. You don't have to be the best of buds, but you should at least be civil. A child can pick up on any animosity you hold for their mommy or daddy and will likely resent you for being the meanie.

    • 6

      Make it work for both parents. Establish a schedule for visitations, attending sporting events, other extra curricular activities, doctor and dental visits. Whether it is court appointed or set by the two of you, it can be made flexible to suit all involved.

    • 7

      Keep them out of it. Avoid getting your new partner involved in matters between you and your ex. If you are strictly about business with your ex, your new mate should feel no insecurity and therefore no need to interfere with the parental system you've set up with your ex. The catch with this step is that your ex has to be respectful and do the same with his or her new partner.

    • 8

      Everyone has their place. If you are taking the next step in the relationship with your new partner, assure your ex that no one will be taking his or her place. Make it certain that you have chosen someone who understands the importance of your child's relationship with the other parent, and make it known you're not looking for a replacement. If this seems tough, just remember that you wouldn't want to be replaced by a new mommy or daddy yourself.

    • 9

      Stick to your guns. Being too lax can lead to your ex taking advantage of you. Don't be bullied, you're an adult, you're a parent and what you say matters too.

    • 10

      Be cool. People are unpredictable. They might not want to be reasonable; they might not have a desire to get along. Just keep your composure and retrace your steps because your child is worth it.

Metabolism Increasing Foods

December 21st, 2011

If you find that you have put on a few too many extra pounds from over indulgence during the holidays or just simple lack of aerobic exercise, you can speed up the rate that those love handles melt away by carefully controlling the types of food that you eat. There are a wide range of metabolism increasing foods that leave open many different options for tasty and healthy meals.

  1. Function

    • Your body's metabolism is composed of two different chemical reactions called anabolism and catabolism. These processes split apart the food that you eat and convert it into either energy to power your body's main functions or into waste matter. Your metabolism can work at drastically different speeds depending on the kinds of food that you eat.

    Timing

    • The time that you eat any type of food and the number of meals that you consume in a day are just as important as the type of foods that you are eating if you want to increase your metabolic rate. Your metabolism slows down when it has less to do so make sure to eat breakfast to get your metabolism working early in the morning. You should have multiple small meals consisting of metabolism increasing foods rather than just one or two big meals.

    Types

    • Any food that has a large amount of dietary fiber, such as leafy green vegetables, beans and whole grains, will increase your metabolism and be used more efficiently by your body than processed foods or any food that is high in saturated fat or sugar. The antioxidants in brewed tea help to speed up your metabolism and protein from sources such as yogurt, nuts and fish will also provide a boost.

    Benefits

    • Eating metabolism increasing foods enhances the pace at which your body burns calories by converting food into energy. When coupled with regular exercise a high metabolism will mean that you can lose weight much more quickly or at least slow down the rate of weight gain.

    Considerations

    • Your metabolism will actually slow down if you do consume enough calories to provide the energy that your body needs to complete all of its functions. It is important to balance the type of foods you eat to increase your metabolism with the amount that you eat for the best weight loss results.

Resources

  • 10 foods to raise your metabolism
  • Foods that speed metabolism

Massage Techniques for Hammer Toes

December 21st, 2011

Hammer toes are a common problem that cause pain and discomfort. Massage therapy is a good way to help treat this pain and help reduce the stress associated with this condition. It should not be a problem to receive massage if you have hammer toes, but you should clear it with your doctor if this is a chronic condition. There are specific types of massage that you might want to investigate that focus solely on the foot.

  1. What are Hammer Toes?

    • The American College of Foot and Ankle Surgeons describes hammer toes as a bending of the joints in the second, third, fourth and pinky toe. This bending can cause pain, corns, calluses and general discomfort. The condition can be caused by a muscle imbalance, and might be aggravated by poorly fitting footwear.

    Massage and Hammer Toes

    • The primary goal of applying massage to hammer toes is to reduce the pain and discomfort caused by the condition. The massage therapist will use light, soothing strokes on the area in order to relax the underlying muscles. She will likely work each toe with her fingers. She will move the joint through its range of motion, and may perform stretches to increase the mobility of the area.

    Reflexology and Hammer Toes

    • Reflexology is a special type of massage that focuses just on the feet. If you experience a lot of pain and discomfort from hammer toes, you might want to consider getting a reflexology session. The therapist will use his thumb to massage the sole of your foot and your toes. He may also stimulate the toe area with range of motion techniques and squeezing.

    Eastern Massage and Hammer Toes

    • Eastern massage styles, like Shiatsu, focus on balancing the body's flow of energy. A condition like hammer toe is considered a blockage of this energy. A Shiatsu therapist will perform short, sweeping strokes to the toes and foot in order to get this energy flowing properly. There are also a number of special energetic pressure points on the toes, and the therapist will manipulate these with her thumb and fingers to balance the energy.

    Check With Your Doctor

    • If your hammer toes are a chronic problem, you should check with your doctor before discussing it with a massage therapist. Let the therapist know about the specific area that you'd like addressed; she will be able to tailor the session to meet your specific needs.

Lupus Symptoms & Treatment

December 19th, 2011
Lupus Symptoms & Treatment

Lupus is an autoimmune disorder, which means that the body is attacking itself. It can affect multiple areas of the body and creates many different symptoms. It can range from mild to life threatening. The cause of this condition is still unknown, although genetics seems to play a role. Since this is a very complex disease, it affects each person differently.

  1. Inflammation

    • Inflammation is the main symptom of this disease. This inflammation causes pain and damage to the organs and joints throughout the body.

    Common Symptoms

    • In most patients, lupus affects only some organs and not the whole body. Arthritis type, achy pain in the joints, along with fever and fatigue are some of the most commons symptoms. During a flare-up, it is also common to have swollen lymph nodes.

    Other Symptoms

    • Some patients with lupus experience rashes on the skin, chest pain when breathing, anemia and sensitivity to light. More serious forms of this disease can cause problems in the kidneys, heart, lungs and nervous system.

    Less Common Symptoms

    • If you have lupus, there is a chance you may also notice hair loss, seizures, ulcers in the mouth, problems with abnormal blood clots. Your fingers can become white or blue and cold as the circulation is decreased.

    Prevention/Solution/Treatments

    • The first step in treating this disease is to adopt healthy lifestyle habits. Not smoking, maintaining a healthy weight, getting regular exercise and adequate sleep will help to keep your body strong. Avoiding excessive sun exposure, using sun screen and joining a support group are other options that can help as well.

    Medical Treatment

    • There are many medications that can be used, depending on your symptoms. Anti-inflammatory drugs, corticosteroids, antimalarial and other medications may also be prescribed. Talk to your doctor about which types of medications are best for your particular symptoms.

    Considerations

    • Taking steps to manage stress, such as learning mediation, can be helpful. Getting regular checkups will help you fully manage your symptoms and stay on top of any changes to your health.

Resources

  • Lupus Foundation of America
  • WebMD: Lupus Health Center
  • Womans Health.gov:

Lactose-Free Foods for Babies

December 17th, 2011

A small percentage of babies are lactose intolerant - unable to digest milk sugar, or lactose. Symptoms include diarrhea, gas and fussiness. These symptoms can be caused by a variety of conditions, so discuss your baby's condition with a doctor. According to Dr. Allen Greene, the author of "From First Kicks to First Steps," lactose intolerance is more common in premature babies, who are sometimes lactose intolerant until they begin to approach their original due dates. It also can be a temporary condition due to the infant having diarrhea. In most cases, lactose intolerance in babies disappears on its own by the second birthday. In the meantime, you can keep your baby healthy by using lactose-free foods.

  1. Formula

    • Most babies with lactose intolerance cannot be breast fed, since mother's milk contains lactose, or take a cow's milk formula. The baby is placed on a special lactose-free formula made with soy. These formulas are safe for your baby and they can be found in most grocery stores.

    Baby Foods

    • Most baby foods are lactose free, but some contain milk. Typically, these foods contain the words "cream" or "yogurt" on the front of the package. If the product contains milk, there should be a warning at the bottom of the ingredients list.

    Finger foods

    • As your baby approaches his first birthday, start exposing him to more foods. Lactose-free foods include fruits, vegetables, Cheerios, plain rice cakes, noodles, small pieces of tofu, hard-boiled eggs cut into small pieces, and crackers. If you want to give your baby other foods, read labels and look for milk or whey on the ingredients list. If the product is kosher, look for the term "Parve" or a "P" on the package, because it will be lactose free.

    Making your own foods

    • Replace milk with a soy or rice substitute when making your own foods. You might have to experiment, but usually you cannot tell the difference. These products can be found in most grocery stores in the dairy or health food sections.

    Warnings

    • Never try to re-introduce milk into your child's diet until you have discussed doing so with your baby's doctor. Try dairy slowly, keeping the baby on mostly lactose-free foods. Watch her carefully to see if symptoms return. If they do, immediately put her back on a lactose-free diet until your doctor says it is safe to try again.